A Fountain of Blood and a River of Tears
by Kuddls
Summary: Ellie's been having a hard time lately, with her dad dead and an unwanted pregnancy. She resorts to an old type of comfort. Hasn't been updated in nearly 2 years, so it's pretty AU by now.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, so don't sue me.

Ellie Nash bounced the rubber band as she sat in her bedroom, tears flowing from her eyes. She'd been doing this for about two hours, and the skin beneath the rubber band had turned red. She didn't really care though, she figured this was better than what she used to do.

Ellie's eyes wandered around her room and rested on the familiar compass. She didn't reach for it though; she just snapped her band harder against her arm. She didn't want to cut, and she knew her dad wouldn't have wanted it either, though it didn't really matter what her dad wanted, he was dead now.

She'd just found out the news a little while ago, and had been locked in her room since. Ellie couldn't believe it, she'd gotten an e-mail from her dad just three days ago, and now he was gone.

The phone rang, and Ellie groggily answered. She didn't remember falling asleep, but it must have happened really late. Her skin had broken a bit from being repeatedly hit with the worn rubber band on her wrist.

"Hello?" she said into the receiver.

Marco's voice came from the other end, "Ellie where are you? It's already lunch time, and you're not at school!"

Ellie glanced at the clock; it was 12:45 in the afternoon. "Sorry, I just didn't wake up."

"What's happening?" Marco asked.

Ellie choked back tears, "M-my dad d-died," she sobbed.

"Oh, Ellie, I'm sorry," Marco said sympathetically.

"It's okay," she replied, "I'm just gonna get something to eat."

"Aright, bye," said Marco, then the line went dead.

Ellie made her way down the stairs, only to see her mom passed out on the couch, with an empty whiskey bottle in her hand. "Mom," Ellie whispered, and her hand automatically jumped to the rubber band, snapping it about thirty times, until it began to bleed slightly. She ran up to her room and slammed the door.

She kicked her door, denting it a little. "She said she'd stay sober!" Ellie screamed to no one in particular. "Why is she drinking! Why is she drinking!"

Ellie collapsed onto her bed in uncontrollable sobs. "She said she'd stay sober, why isn't she sober?" Ellie muttered to herself quietly, over and over again.

After about twenty minutes, Ellie sat up, and snapped the rubber band against her already hurt wrist. After about the fifth time, the rubber band broke. Ellie picked up a random object and threw it, hitting her mirror and causing it to break.

Ellie lumbered over to her mirror, "Great just what I need, even more bad luck," Ellie muttered to herself. She saw a piece of glass resting on her dresser, she picked it up and lowered it to her skin. She pressed it into her flesh and ripped it open with the edge of the piece of glass.

Ellie watched the blood pour out of her wrist, not trying to stop it. She finally grabbed a cloth and pressed it against the cut. Ellie fell back onto her bed and cried herself to sleep, she'd messed up everything.

Ellie awoke at about three in the morning. She noticed that there was a long scar from the cut, and covered it with her arm warmers. She noticed she was very hungry, since she hadn't eaten in about a day and a half.

She made her way down the stairs to get a snack and noticed another bottle next to her mother's passed out figure. She grabbed a quick snack and brought it up the stairs; she didn't think her mother would care, since she was nearly unconscious.

When she finished, Ellie was still hungry, but she didn't feel like going back downstairs, so she just went back to sleep.

A/N So tell me what you think. This is in the fifth season.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

"Mmm," Ellie mumbled as she awoke from her dream that re-enacted her night with Craig. She turned onto her back and stared at the ceiling for a moment, just thinking about Craig.

Ever since Ashley left they'd grown rather close, especially in the last couple of months. Sure, Manny sometimes hanging around got annoying, but Ellie was convinced Craig truly loved Ellie and that he let Manny hang around just to be nice.

She glanced at her clock and noticed it was 5:30 A.M. For a second, she couldn't remember why she would wake up so early, then remembered how she'd slept all day yesterday and why.

Her attention was quickly caught by the long cut on her arm. She touched it and a few tears fell from her eyes; partly because of what she had done, partly because of why she had done it.

Ellie sighed and wiped the tears away. She got up and started getting ready for her day. She decided that Craig would help her get through it, and she shouldn't deal with bad feelings.

Ellie passed her mother on the couch on her way out. Her collection of alcohol bottled had grown. For a moment, Ellie wondered how she had gotten so many liquor bottles, but decided to shrug it off, and to shrug off the fact that her mother who had made so much progress was passed out on the couch.

"Craig will get you through it," Ellie muttered to herself, and left for school.

"Mi bella," Marco cooed as soon as Ellie had walked up. "How are you?"

"Fine," Ellie replied.

"Are you sure?" Marco asked.

"Marco, could we please not dwell on the fact that my father is dead?" Ellie asked, keeping back tears.

"Of course," Marco said, and didn't say another word about it.

The bell eventually rang and Ellie made her way to homeroom. She could barely sit through Mrs. Kwan's talking; she wanted to get to Craig. Today he said he'd tell Manny to start leaving them alone. Well, that's not really what he said exactly. He'd told them that he'd make his decision. Ellie smiled at the fact that Manny would finally be giving them alone time.

The bell rang, signaling the end of homeroom. Ellie was anxious to get out the door and to Craig's locker.

"Ellie?" she heard Mrs. Kwan calling her.

Ellie groaned inwardly, but made her way back to her teacher's desk through the throng of students. "Yes, Mrs. Kwan?"

"Why weren't you hear yesterday?" she asked.

Ellie's face paled a bit, but she remained brave, "My father died."

"Oh, I'm sorry, do you have a note?" Mrs. Kwan asked.

Ellie paled a bit more, no she didn't have a note, and she couldn't admit to the fact that her mom was too drunk to write her one. "No, ma'am."

"I'm afraid I'll have to write you as an unexcused absence then," said Mrs. Kwan, disapprovingly.

"But Mrs. Kwan-," Ellie started.

"That's two unexcused absences this month," interrupted Mrs. Kwan, "one more and we have to take your mother to court."

Ellie closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then answered, "Yes, Mrs. Kwan." She took a peak at the clock and saw that she had roughly one minute to get to first period or she'd be late. She silently cursed Mrs. Kwan for not allowing her to leave right away, thus her not being able to talk to Craig.

Ellie was antsy all through Media Immersions. She didn't have Craig in this class either, so she was once again, unable to talk to him. She couldn't down the last few seconds of that class. As soon as the bell rang, she headed out the door, praying that Mr. Simpson wouldn't stop her.

Ellie made her way to Craig's locker, eagerly. She couldn't wait to hear his voice declaring that she was the one he truly loved. She nearly broke into a run, grin plastered on her face.

For a second, she felt guilty that she was so happy while her dad's funeral was being arranged, but the guilt subsided as soon as she saw Craig. She made her way over to Craig with joy inside of her.

That joy turned into anger when she saw Manny. _Oh well, _she thought, _she need the news broken to her._

"Hi, Craig," she said bouncily. She noticed Manny was wearing a pink halter and low cut jeans. She glanced down at her own worn jeans and black shirt, and hoped that Craig wouldn't care.

"Hey Ellie," he said, a little too uneasily.

"So, you said you'd make your choice today," she said, cutting to the chase.

"About that-," he started.

"He chose me," Manny interrupted.

Ellie didn't want to believe her, but something inside of her told her it was true. "What?"

"Yeah," Craig said, not meeting her eyes, "sorry."

Craig and Manny walked off to class, but Ellie just continued to stand there. She was stunned. How could he have done that? He had said he loved her.

The bell rang and it hit her for real. Ellie took off running, but not toward class, towards the girls' washroom.

She burst through the door in hysterical sobs. Ellie grasped the edge of the sink so firmly it felt like it would cut into her hands. However, that's what she wanted it to do.

Ellie calmed herself down. She removed a small pair of scissors from her purse, hoping they'd do the job. She stabbed herself as hard as she could with the scissors. They were pretty dull, so they didn't go down very far. She pulled them along her arm, wincing ever so slightly at the pain.

Ellie watched for a second as her blood spilled into the sink, then grabbed a paper towel to soak up the blood, and cleaned the sink of her blood.

She pulled her sleeve down over her cut and decided she'd better go to second period.

"Let's see, what do I have now?" Ellie asked herself. "English crap, Mrs. Kwan will kill me." She went to her English class slowly figuring it wouldn't matter if she were any later than she already was.

"Miss Nash, you're late," Mrs. Kwan reprimanded.

"State the obvious," Ellie muttered.

"Excuse me?" Mrs. Kwan asked, eyebrows raised.

"Nothing," Ellie sighed.

"Detention," Mrs. Kwan said. "Now take your seat."

Ellie went over to her desk and put her head down. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes wishing it all away. She wished it were just a nightmare, one that she'd wake up from any second. However, when she opened her eyes, it didn't go away.

A/N Sorry it took so long for me to update. I know I made Manny and Craig look a bit like jerks, but it had to be that way for the story to go as I plan. Anyway, please review.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

Ellie walked home that day with three new scars. She pushed her door open and glanced over to the couch where her mother was passed out. She grabbed her snack from the kitchen and was about to go to her room when she noticed her mom stirring.

"Mom?" Ellie asked.

"Ellie, don't talk so loudly," her mom said. She sat up to face her daughter and Ellie noticed how bloodshot her eyes were. "Can you get me another bottle of whiskey from the kitchen?"

"Mom, don't you think you've had enough?" Ellie asked.

"Enough of what?" her mom said. "Life? Yep. I need alcohol."

Ellie sighed and reluctantly obeyed her mom. "Mom, please."

"What Eleanor?" she asked, taking a drink out of the bottle.

"Please, can't you stop?" Ellie pleaded.

"No," her mom replied.

Ellie decided to use force, she snatched the whiskey from her mom's hand.

"Give it back to me Eleanor," she said.

"No," Ellie spat.

Her mom drew her hand back and slapped her only daughter, giving her a red mark on her left cheek. Something in Ellie snapped. Before she could think she was hitting her mom right back.

Although the slap wasn't nearly as hard as she had given her daughter, Mrs. Nash grabbed an empty bottle and smashed it against Ellie's head.

Ellie heard the glass break and saw it shatter around her, but she didn't really feel it. She was numb; it was almost as if she'd seen herself fall onto the floor with a loud thunk in a pool of blood and glass.

A/N I know that was extremely short but I wanted to end it there and leave you with a little cliffhanger. I'm so sorry for the long wait and hope you'll review. It has come to my attention that sometimes when people read stories they wonder if the author's life is anything like the main character in the story, but I've never cut, been abused, or anything like that.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

The lights shined brightly in Ellie's eyes as she slowly opened them. She knew she wasn't in her own house. The abnormally clean, white room seemed to glow a bit and it made Ellie's head hurt as she peered around it. She couldn't decide where she was until she saw the bed in which she was laying.

For a moment Ellie couldn't remember why she was in a hospital. Suddenly it all came crashing back. Her hand automatically jumped to her bandaged head. She felt a single tear travel down her face.

A nurse came through the door. When she saw Ellie she looked quite relieved. "Oh good, you're awake! We thought you might slip into a comatose state. That was quite a nasty fall you had?"

"Fall?" Ellie asked. She noticed that her voice was scratchy.

"Yes your mother told us all about it," the nurse said.

"She did?" Ellie asked, bewildered.

"Yes, she told us about how you were trying to get something and a bottle accidentally fell on your head," the nurse replied.

"Right," Ellie said.

"Well, we weren't sure if you'd make it or not," the nurse explained cheerily.

_You sound so cheerful at the prospect of me dying,_ Ellie thought bitterly. The nurse kept on talking, but Ellie wasn't listening until she said the word baby.

"What did you say?" Ellie asked.

"I said, we worried that the fall would hurt your baby," the nurse explained, "but it's aright."

Ellie forgot to breathe for a moment. When she found her breath, she managed to say something to the nurse. "I have a baby?"

"Yes," the nurse said.

"You must be mistaken," Ellie said, hopefully.

"You didn't know?" the nurse asked.

"Is this some sort of sick joke?" Ellie asked. "If you were hired by Manny or something, please tell me now."

"I'm sorry, but it's true," the nurse said. "Now if you'll excuse, I've got to go."

"Oh no, no, no, hell no!" Ellie screamed once the nurse had left. "How am I going to tell Craig? How am I going to tell my mom? I can't bring a baby up I this world!"

"Miss?" another nurse came into the room. "Are you aright?"

"I'm fine, just a little worried," Ellie uttered the understatement of the year.

"I heard the problem you were ranting about," the nurse said.

"And?" Ellie asked, annoyed.

"Well, I could help you," the nurse explained.

"How?" Ellie asked, she was interested now.

"Well, I have pamphlets on adoption and abortion," the nurse whispered the last word as if it were a sin to even have the word on your lips.

"Give me the pamphlet on adoption," Ellie said.

The nurse handed her the pamphlet on adoption then left the room. Ellie looked over it with interest. She called the 800 number on the back.

"Hello?" a woman answered.

"I'd like to talk to you about giving my baby up for adoption," Ellie explained.

"Come by tomorrow," the woman said.

"I can't do that," Ellie said.

"When can you come in?" she asked.

"How about a week from today?" Ellie proposed.

"Fine," the woman said. "Name?"

"Eleanor Nash," Ellie said.

"Phone number?" the woman asked.

Ellie gave the woman her cell number and hung up. She realized she was losing everything; her father, her mother, her boyfriend, and even her unborn child. She felt herself wanting to cry, but she held it in.

A/N This wasn't as short as last time but still short so I'm sorry. Please review whether you liked it or not. I thank the person (can't remember the name right now) who pointed out me not varying the ways I start sentences, I'm really bad at that. Also, I'd like ideas for baby names even though Ellie's going to give it up for adoption.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

Ellie got out of the hospital after a week. Her mom hadn't bothered to visit her once. She doubted her mom even missed her or regretted what she'd done.

It was nearly 2. Remembering her appointment, she hurried home to change. She almost forgot her arm warmers, but luckily spotted them while she was putting on her slipknot shirt.

"Eleanor Nash," Ellie told the woman at the desk.

"Ah, yes, you're late," the woman said.

"Sorry but can I go in?" Ellie said.

"Yeah," the woman said, she didn't seem to care much whether or not she went in.

"Ma'am?" Ellie asked once she'd gone through the door.

"Over here," the woman. She wore a cheery smile that Ellie didn't like. It seemed to say, "I'm happy taking you baby from you!"

Ellie sat at the desk of the over-eager woman. The woman soon introduced herself as Eliza, and began talking about families and a bunch of other stuff Ellie didn't really feel like listening to. At the end, Eliza asked if she had any questions.

"No," Ellie said.

"If you would sign a simple form, we could start searching for families for you," Eliza said.

"Um, I need to talk to the father first," Ellie said.

"Fine," Eliza said.

Ellie left and hailed a cab to take her home. Her mom was passed out on the couch. She heard her stirring, but didn't bother looking over to her.

In her room she felt so safe, like no one could hurt or bother her. The bed was even better. She crawled under the covers and went to sleep.

When she awoke, night was falling. Ellie picked up the phone, intending to call Craig. She dialed the first three digits of his number then changed her mind.

"Better to tell him in person," she said to herself. Ellie put on her jacket and went out the door. The night air was chilly and she shivered while she walked. There was no money to take a cab, and she didn't dare provoke her mom again by taking her car without permission.

Ellie came upon his house. She reached up to knock but her hand froze when it came within three inches of the door. She took a deep breath and tried again but still couldn't bring herself to knock. On the third try she figured she'd take a short walk and then come do it.

Ellie walked around Craig's house and something caught her eyes. It was a scene through the window. There was, on the Jeremiah couch, Craig and Manny making out. Ellie knelt down onto the tall grass and stared, mesmerized. Craig was nuzzling Manny behind her ear and Manny was laughing. Tears began to fall from Ellie's eyes and the knees of her jeans where soon very wet.

Ellie got up and began to run. Her breath was coming in short bursts of air. She didn't even realize it was raining until a running cramp stopped her. Her red hair was soaked with sweat and the rain.

A lake was below her. For a moment she considered jumping into the lake, drowning away all her sorrows. Her hand soon jumped to her stomach feeling the feint curve that was beginning to take shape. Realizing she didn't want an innocent life to die along with her, she trudged home through the mud.

She arrived home just in time to see her mom consuming the last of a bottle of rum.

"Where were you?" asked her drunken mother.

"Out," came Ellie's vague reply.

"Out where?" she asked.

Ellie considered asking 'why do you care?' but quickly banished the thought from her mind. "I took a walk."

"In the rain?" Mrs. Nash asked.

"I like the rain," her daughter lied.

"Whatever, go to bed," her mom commanded.

Following her mom's orders, Ellie went to the only place in which she felt safe.

Once in her room, Ellie drew a knife from under her pillow. She turned over her arm. Holding the knife steady, she cut into her wrists, just above her veins.

"Not yet, Ellie," she said to herself. "Let's wait until after the baby has been adopted."

A/N Once again it was short. Oh, well, I'll try harder next time. Anyway, drop a review please.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

Ellie awoke in a cold sweat. She had just had a dream about her father. In it, she was a little girl swinging on her swing set with her father pushing her. He pushed her higher and higher and she got the sensation of flying. She was having fun, laughing and talking. Then, she looked back to call something to her father and he turned black and started to melt. He was also laughing in an evil, malicious way. She began to cry, but he just continued laughing. That was when Ellie awoke.

She sat up in her bed and began to cry. Ellie had gotten used to nightmares, but had never had one like that. The pillow on her bed was overturned and she grasped the knife. Putting the blade to her already scarred arm, Ellie cut herself.

After the blood stopped, Ellie just gazed out her bedroom window. It was still dark. She saw her old swing set; her favorite swing was moving.

Putting on a long, blue robe, Ellie went outside. She walked over to the swing set, noticing that the grass was very long since it hadn't been cut in months and it was wet with dew.

Ellie finally reached the swing set. She sat on her favorite swing and began to pump her legs back and forth. She got a familiar sensation of flying. Soon, memories flooded her mind. She remembered her dad teaching her how to pump, her dad playing tea party with her when she was five, and a million more things.

Ellie jumped off the swing like she did when she was a child and landed on both feet. She began to laugh, which turned into sobs.

Sighing, Ellie looked down to her rounded stomach. She knew she could never give her child a good life. Ellie was over eight months pregnant and no one knew. She hadn't worked up the courage to tell Craig. Her mom seldom moved from the couch and hadn't noticed anything. Marco, her closest friend, didn't even know. Under thick sweaters and other big clothing, her pregnancy was hidden.

Ellie realized that she hadn't even picked out a family to adopt the baby. She really didn't want to give up her baby, but felt she had no other choice.

Suddenly, Ellie felt a burst of pain from her abdomen.

A/N I cringe when I look at how short this is. I know I said this chapter would be longer, but I really, really wanted to leave it there. I promise that next chapter will be longer because I've already started writing it. The next chapter should be up in 1-3 days, unless I don't get many reviews. Also, I really need name suggestions.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

Grasping the closest thing she could find, Ellie breathed in and out, willing the pain away. Soon, it left, but not soon enough. It was worse than any pain she'd ever felt in her life.

The pale beginnings of daylight were shining through the sky and Ellie decided to go back inside. On the threshold of her back door the pain came back. Then, her water broke.

In a rush of fear and excitement (mostly fear), Ellie packed a bag from the hospital by frantically searching around her room and throwing useful things into an empty suitcase. She had to pause once for a contraction. When she was finished she called a taxi.

While Ellie was waiting for the taxi, she realized she'd need someone to help her through the labor. Ellie took out her cell phone and began going through her address book. She couldn't call Craig that was for sure. Ashley was in London. Suddenly, it came to her; she could call Marco.

She quickly dialed her best friend's number. "Hello?" came Marco's sleepy voice.

"Marco? It's Ellie," Ellie stated.

"Why in the world are you calling me at six in the morning on a Saturday?" he asked.

Ellie let out a low groan as another contraction came and left.

"Ellie, are you aright?" Marco asked. The sleepiness in his voice was replaced by worry.

"Just meet me at the Degrassi Community Hospital, please?" Ellie asked.

"What's wrong?" Marco questioned.

"Please just come as soon as possible," Ellie begged.

"Sure, El, I'll be right there," Marco promised.

As soon as Ellie hung up, the taxi arrived. The cab driver drove pretty quickly, especially when she cried out in pain. He seemed quite frightened that the baby would come in his car.

Marco arrived at the hospital just in time to see Ellie being put in a wheel chair and given paper work. He watched as she broke the flimsy hospital pen in pain.

"Ellie, when did this happen?" he asked.

"A little over eight months ago," Ellie replied.

"Who?" Marco asked.

"Not important right now," Ellie replied. "I need to get this paper work filled so this kid will get out of me!"

"Aright, aright, calm down," Marco said, "I'll help you fill out the paperwork."

Ellie dictated the information to Marco, then was brought to a semi private room.

"You're about six centimeters dilated," said the nurse. "Just five more to go."

"Gee great," Ellie said sarcastically. She never liked nurses.

Soon, a couple was brought into the room. There was a woman with blonde hair and her husband with a video camera.

"Oh, hello," the woman said. "My name's Marie, and this is my husband, Dennis. He's documenting my labor."

"How nice," Ellie was being sarcastic again.

"Is this your first child?" Marie asked.

"Yes," Ellie replied.

"Oh, this is our third," Marie said. "We already have a son and a daughter. This one's a girl. What are you having?"

"I don't know," Ellie said. "I'm giving it up for adoption anyway."

"You are?" Marco asked.

"Your husband doesn't seem very happy about that," the woman said.

"Oh, he's not my husband," Ellie almost laughed at that thought.

"Oh," the woman said disapprovingly.

Ellie let out a cry as another contraction came.

Marco leapt over to her, "Are you okay?"

"It was just a contraction Marco," Ellie said once the pain subsided. "Is labor really that painful?"

Marie let out a chuckle, "Oh yeah. It's the absolute worst pain you will ever feel in your life."

"Can you describe it?" Ellie asked.

The woman thought for a moment. "Think about the worst cramps you've ever had and multiply that by seven."

Ellie's face twisted into a look of horror. She'd always considered herself good about pain, but this was unimaginable.

Ellie's doctor came into the room. "Almost there, only four centimeters left."

"Ma'am," Ellie called, "this woman said that labor is like the worst cramps you'd ever had times seven. Is that true?"

"Not to get you nervous Miss Nash, but yes," the doctor replied. "It's sometimes worse."

Ellie was glad she was lying down because she was sure she would have fainted. Marco seemed to notice because he came over to her and held her hand.

"It'll be okay, El," he said.

"That's easy for you to say!" she exclaimed. "You don't have to push a who knows how many pound baby through your birth canal!"

"Speaking of that," Marco said. "Are you expecting me to be in there with you?"

Ellie shot him a glare.

"Just asking," Marco said.

After about twenty-five minutes, the doctor told her she was fully dilated and ready to go into the delivery room. Marco held her hand all the way.

"Is dad staying in here?" the doctor asked.

"He's not the father," Ellie said, "but yes."

"Push, Ellie," the doctor commanded.

"I can't!" Ellie cried. She had sweat on her forehead and it was running down her face.

"You have to," Marco said.

"I HATE CRAIG!" Ellie screamed while she was pushing.

"It's Craig's?" Marco asked bewildered.

"It's crowning," the doctor said. "Do you want to see?"

"No thanks," Marco said.

After a couple of minutes of pushing and uttering words that would make an old later blush, Ellie delivered a healthy baby girl.

"She's beautiful, El," Marco said, holding her.

He handed her over to Ellie who smiled down on her. However, Ellie soon began to cry. Salty tears splashed down onto the baby's blanket. She held up her baby, "Take her."

Marco took the baby from his friend, "What's wrong?"

"I have to give her away!" Ellie said.

"You don't have to," Marco told her.

"Yes I do," Ellie said. "I can never give her the good life she deserves."

"Sure you can," Marco said. "You love her don't you?"

"Of course," Ellie said.

"Well, that's all you need," he told her. "You may not be able to give her a life of luxury, but she'll be loved, and you two will make it work."

Ellie smiled, "You're right. I'm keeping her."

Marco handed Ellie her daughter. "So what's her name?"

"I'm not sure yet," Ellie replied.

"How does your mom feel?" Marco asked.

Ellie's face fell, "She doesn't know yet. Marco, would you do me a favor and search for an apartment for me?"

"Of course," Marco said. "So Craig's the father?"

"Yes," Ellie sighed.

"Does he know?" Marco asked.

"Ellie sighed once more, "No."

"Are you planning to tell him?" he asked.

"You've seen how happy he is with Manny," Ellie explained. "I'm not going to ruin that for child support or something."

"You don't think he has a right to know?" Marco asked.

"Maybe if he stayed together with me," Ellie said. "Did you know he told me he loved me? Then, he chose Manny. Just the thought of him makes me feel like screaming or, or—"

"Or what?" Marco asked.

"Nothing," Ellie replied.

Marco's eyes jumped to Ellie's scarred arm, "Oh, Ellie."

"It's none of your business," Ellie snapped, covering her bare arm.

"Just promise me you'll get help," Marco said.

Ellie crossed her fingers under the blanket, "Okay."

A/N So she's not giving it up for adoption. I hoped you liked it, but even if you didn't, I'd like a review please. I was going to wait until tomorrow, but since I have school, I decided not to. I'd really like baby names. Right now I'm considering Michelle, Annissa, Christiana, Isabelle, and Roxanne. Tell me if you like any of them, or if you have any other suggestions.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

Ellie sighed as she carried her daughter, Roxanna Gracie Nash, onto the bus to Stouffville where she would see the apartment Marco had found for her on the Internet. She shielded her newborn from the germs all around.

When the bus finally came to a stop, Ellie looked around. It wasn't the bad part of town, but it also wasn't the best. She followed the directions she'd gotten from Marco.

She knocked at the office door and a grumpy old lady answered. A small cloud smoke was coming from her cigar and Ellie instinctively covered the baby's face and stepped back.

"I'm Ellie," she started, "I called yesterday about the apartment?"

"It's number six, on the other side of this building," the woman stated in a gruff voice.

It wasn't very hard to find. She opened the door to the apartment and immediately felt like turning back. However, it was only $490 a month and far away from her mother. It was a studio apartment, which contains a living room/bedroom, a small kitchen, bathroom, and closet.

The kitchen had loose white tiles that were arranged in a sort of a pattern. The yellow paint on the walls was chipped in places, the stove looked a little rusty, and the sink was extremely small. A strange smell was coming from the refrigerator and Ellie didn't want to look.

The living room had light pink wallpaper that was peeling slightly. There was an overstuffed couch, and Ellie was happy about it before she saw the German Roach nest on it. The carpet was the color of dust (Ellie wasn't sure if there was only dust on the carpet or not).

There was one closet, which was as big about half the size of the bathroom. The bathroom wasn't exactly gigantic. The tub was rather small and had a ring around it, and the showerhead was slightly rusted. The walls were forest green, which happened to be Ellie's least favorite color. The sink was imitation marble with a mirror on the medicine cabinet above it. There was a bottle of something inside, but Ellie wasn't sure what.

When she'd finished looking around, Ellie sighed and told the she'd take the apartment. She had to take money for the down payment out of her college account, like the hospital bill.

She began to walk back to the bus when a car pulled over near her. Her heart felt like it stopped beating when Craig stepped out of the car, followed by Manny and Marco.

A/N This is insanely short and not how I was going to end it at all. However, my fingers took over and wrote that part and are now writing you this pointless Author's Note. Anyway, if I get five reviews, you'll see the next part up in the next couple of days, if you guys can swing ten or more, you'll have it tomorrow. Or maybe you don't want to see the next part; put that in a review. Hope you liked the name I picked.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

For a moment, Ellie was frozen in shock and fear. Then she got the idea to run and hide, but it was too late; Craig had already spotted her.

He seemed confused, "Ellie? Marco said you'd be around here. He said you had something to tell me. Why haven't been to school this week?"

"She's been in the hospital," Marco said.

"I've been sick," Ellie quickly added.

"Sorry," Craig said. "What was it you needed to tell me."

Ellie opened her mouth to answer, but Manny beat her to it.

"Baby," she said, in her sweetest voice, "don't you want to tell her our news?" Manny didn't wait for an answer, she held out her hand and tilted her finger so that the diamond on it sparkled and shone. "We're engaged!" to the passerby, her smile would have seemed pure, innocent, happiness, but Ellie knew differently.

"How nice for you," Ellie choked out.

"Yeah," Craig was smiling. "Who's that?" he asked, noticing the baby carseat Ellie was carrying.

"What?" Ellie said. "Uh, yeah, this is, well, she's, um-"

"I'm pregnant!" Manny blurted out, just as Ellie was about to tell him. Ellie couldn't tell if she was telling the truth, or if she was only saying it to save her relationship.

Craig's head snapped up, "What?"

Manny flashed a smile, "Um, yeah, I took the test this, um, morning."

"That's fantastic!" Craig said. "I'm going to be a father! I'm going to have my own little baby!" He put a hand on Manny's stomach and grinned. "We need to go shopping and get maternity clothes and baby stuff, and everything else!"

"Craig, honey, go get in the car, I need to tell Ellie something," Manny said, smiling her most innocent smile. Ellie watched in disgust as he obeyed. Manny moved really close to Ellie's ear. "Look, you see how happy we are don't you? Well, I don't know the truth but I have a pretty good guess, and the truth isn't going to break us up. So if you dare even try, you will regret it. Got it?"

Ellie nodded. She knew what Manny meant.

"Ta!" Manny said, giving Ellie a little wave before getting into the car, and giving Craig a big kiss.

Marco made a move to leave, too. "No! You are staying," Ellie said.

Marco turned to Ellie, "Look, El, I'm sorry."

"No," Ellie said, "Marco, do you realize what you did? You could've at least not brought Manny!"

"I didn't know she was pregnant," Marco said.

"She's not," Ellie sighed, "but I'd bet she's going home to try her hardest."

"How do you know?" Marco asked.

"You could just tell," Ellie said. "She knew what I was going to say, so she had to think of way that I wouldn't say it."

"Oh," Marco said. "Why didn't you say anything, though?"

"Marco, I didn't even want to tell him in the first place!" Ellie yelled, making Roxanna cry. Ellie quieted her, then went back to talking to Marco. "You had no business bringing him over here."

"I'm so sorry," Marco said. "What can I do to make it up to you?"

"You can start by helping me pack and move," Ellie proposed. "I want to move in as soon as possible."

"Aright, I'll borrow my dad's truck," Marco said.

Ellie and Marco walked to the bus stop. Soon, they were in front of the Nash residence, and Ellie was wondering if she should just leave all her stuff there.

"What if my mom wakes up, sees I'm leaving, and hits me again?" Ellie says.

"Again?" Marco asked. "She's done it before?"

"Nevermind," Ellie said, "let's just hurry."

Marco followed her into the house, making a mental note to ask her about her mom later. He glanced over to the sofa, and instantly felt sorry for Ellie.

"Do you have any boxes?" Ellie asked Marco once they were up in her room.

"Uh, no," Marco said, "we came right over here, remember?"

"Right," Ellie sighed. She took out as many suitcases as she could find and she and Marco packed up all the things she needed.

"Aright, I'll put these in your truck, then we can start taking apart my bed," Ellie said, grabbing some bags.

Roxanna started crying and Ellie went over to her. "Uh-oh," Ellie said.

"What is it?' Marco asked, walking over to them.

"She's hungry," Ellie answered.

"What's bad about that?" Marco asked.

"I'm breast-feeding her," Ellie replied.

Marco's face paled a little, "Well, okay, um, you face the wall, and I'll, um close my eyes."

"Just get some bags out to the car, I'll stay in here and feed her," Ellie said.

The truck soon had all the bags in it, and Roxanna was asleep. "Now to load the bed," Ellie said.

She and Marco spent an hour taking apart the bed. They managed to get three parts into the truck, then it was full.

"Well, we have two choices," Marco said. "We can unload this and come back, or we can call someone else."

"Those are the only two?" Ellie asked.

"Afraid so," Marco said.

"Well, I don't want to make two trips, but I can't call someone!" Ellie said, she looked like she'd cry.

"It's okay," Marco said. "Just, let's think of someone to help us. Paige?"

"Are you kidding?" Ellie asked.

"Hmm, okay, Alex?" Marco asked.

Ellie looked like she was thinking really hard on it, "I guess, I mean, she can keep a secret, right?" She dialed Alex's number.

"Hello?" came Alex's voice.

"Hey, it's Ellie," Ellie said.

"Hey, why haven't you been at school?" Alex asked.

"I'll explain that when you get here," Ellie said.

"What?" Alex asked.

"Just come to my house, bring your van," Ellie said.

"Aright," Alex said, "but-"

Ellie clicked off her phone before Alex could ask anymore questions. She, Marco, and Roxanna, waited outside. Alex's red van pulled up in the driveway next to Marco's black truck.

"What's up, El?" Alex asked as soon as she'd slammed the door of her van.

"I'm moving," Ellie said.

"Why?" Alex asked.

"Do you promise not to tell anyone? Ever?" Ellie said.

"Sure," Alex promised.

"Do you promise?" Ellie asked, unsure.

"I promise," Alex agreed.

"Okay," Ellie said.

"Marco, you tell her," Ellie said.

"Ellie has a daughter named Roxanna so she's running away from home," Marco said.

"What?" Alex asked.

"You heard him," Ellie said.

"Why am I here?" Alex demanded.

"I was wondering if you'd help me move," Ellie said, hesitantly.

"Whatever," Alex said. "As long as I don't have to pack. I hate doing that stuff."

"We already packed," Ellie promised. "I just need help getting things out of the attic."

Alex and Ellie went into the attic while Marco stayed with the baby.

"When was the last time you were up here?" Alex asked, steering clear of the spider webs.

"Are you scared of attics?" Ellie laughed, noticing the look on Alex's face.

"Just spiders," Alex said.

Ellie suddenly burst out laughing. "I don't find my phobia funny," Alex said.

"Whatever, just help me with this crib, the stroller, the changing table, and anything else baby-ish in here," Ellie said.

"So, your mom's okay with you moving out again?" Alex asked.

"She doesn't exactly know," Ellie admitted.

"Damn, El," Alex said, but she didn't say anything else.

Eventually everything was loaded into the vehicles and dropped off at Ellie's place. It was late and Roxy -as she'd decided to call her- was already asleep. Ellie took out a sleeping bag and slept on the uncomfortable floor.

A/N Wow, I'm a liar. I'm so sorry that it took me so long to get out this chapter. I was going to put it up about two to three days after the previous one, but the teacher's piled on homework this week. Plus, there are two projects going on, and the high school things going on, so sorry. Anyway, please review.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

Ellie groaned as she looked at the alarm clock. It was 5:00 A.M. and the baby had woken her up for the third time that night. She dragged herself out of the sleeping bag she'd set up and went over to the bassinet.

"What do you want, Roxy?" Ellie asked in the most pleasant voice she could muster. In response, the baby cried. Ellie groaned once more and took her from the blankets. "Come on," she soothed. "What's wrong?" Ellie set Roxy down in her bassinet and looked for the towel she'd substituted earlier as a changing table. She found it and began changing her newborn.

"There, that's better isn't it?" Ellie asked once she had finished. The baby seemed contented, but a moment later started crying again. Ellie sighed, "What now? Come on, I'm going back to school in the morning. Are you hungry?" She went through the process of feeding and burping Roxy, then the child finally fell back asleep.

Ellie crawled back over to the sleeping bag and fell asleep as soon she'd covered up.

An hour and a half later, the alarm clock went off, telling her it was time to get up. Almost simultaneously, Roxy began crying. Ellie groaned, turned off the alarm clock, and calmed her baby down. As soon as the baby was asleep again, Ellie ran her shower.

She slowly walked into the bathroom, leaving the door open in case the infant awoke again. Ellie opened the medicine cabinet to see a small knife, sitting there, as if it was placed there for her. Taking hold of the knife, she carefully cut a small wound in her arm and sighed at the pain. Remembering that she didn't have much time to get ready, Ellie quickly undressed and took her shower.

After her ten minute shower, Ellie searched for any clean clothes she could find. Eventually, she opened a bag to reveal a pair of tight jeans and white shirt she'd bought on a whim once. Looking down to her over-expanded stomach and decided against that outfit. Luckily, below those clothes she found a big pair of gray pants and a Green Day shirt.

When she was done dressing, Ellie dressed Roxy in a blue shirt and black pants she'd had as a baby. "Now," she said, peering down at the baby, "what am I going to do with you." She didn't have a baby sitter for her. However, she did have money from her savings account to put her into a daycare.

Ellie walked to the bus stop that she had gone to a couple of days ago just as the bus was arriving. She knew it would take her to a stop near her school.

The bus stopped right in front of a daycare. Ellie's eyes widened and she stepped off. The place looked pretty decent. It was called "Little Limbs Daycare" and was close to the school. Inside there were paintings that little kids had done on the walls and colorful things were hanging from the ceiling. On the wall opposite of the front desk was a giant collage of all the kids.

"Excuse me, miss, can I help you?" a lady called.

"Yes," Ellie said, walking up to the desk. "I would like to place my daughter in this daycare. How much does it cost?"

"You can pay daily, weekly, or monthly," the lady informed her. "Daily is twenty dollars, weekly is ninety-five dollars, and monthly is three-hundred-seventy-five dollars."

Ellie sighed "I'll take monthly." She gave the woman the money.

"Thank you," the lady said, " now you will have to fill out the paperwork."

"Right now?" The woman nodded. "But, I'll be late for…" Ellie trailed off.

"Yes?" the woman asked.

"Work," Ellie finished, lying.

"Well, I'm sorry, but we can't accept your daughter until you fill it out," she said.

Ellie took the paperwork and filled it out as well as she could. When she finished, she realized she had ten minutes to get to homeroom. After bringing her daughter to the daycare room for newborns, Ellie began her walk to school.

Fifteen minutes after class began, Ellie walked into Ms. Kwan's room.

"You're late," Ms. Kwan stated. "Do you have an excuse?"

"No, sorry," Ellie apologized, taking her seat. Ms. Kwan resumed teaching the class and Ellie put her head down. Soon enough, the bell rang and Ellie thought she was out of Ms. Kwan's clutches, but she had no such luck.

"Ellie?" she called just as Ellie was almost out the door.

Ellie cursed under her breath and put on a smile, "Yes, Ms. Kwan?"

"You haven't been at school for the past week and a half," she said. "Is there something wrong? Is something going on at home?"

"No, Ms. Kwan home's great," Ellie lied.

"Look, Ellie," she began, "I know that many seniors will reach a point in the year when they stop caring about their studies. Many will skip class like you for weeks at a time. You're a very bright, girl, Eleanor, don't do this."

"I'll try, Ms. Kwan," Ellie promised, thankful that she didn't get a detention or questioned even more.

Throughout the day, Ellie tried hard to avoid Craig and Manny and was successful. Finally, the bell rang, signaling the end of the day. She picked Roxy up from the daycare and went home.

A/N Wow, I have been gone awhile. Sorry, I got writer's block, then schoolwork started piling up, plus I'm in two plays. I'm sorry if it wasn't very good, but I had to put something up, I mean, it's been TWO MONTHS!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

Ellie didn't exactly love single motherhood. Within a few months, a lot of her money had dwindled away. With the expenses of day care, clothes, food, rent, and other things, while she wasn't working, Ellie's money quickly disappeared from her pocketbook.

Luckily, school was over with. Ellie knew that she wouldn't be going to college in a month; she wasn't even able to graduate with the rest of her class. However, Ellie loved Roxy and Roxy seemed to love Ellie, or at least that's what she told herself.

Ellie knew she had to get a job, but she'd never worked before. Everyday she went out to find one, each time being turned away. They always said the same things "Not enough experience… We already hired someone… We went with somebody else…" Once, Ellie tried to get sympathy from one man by telling him that she had a three month old daughter and badly needed money. He looked at her with disgust and said, "You should have thought about that." Ellie wasn't completely sure if she knew what he meant, but knew that she wasn't welcome in his establishment anymore.

One day, as Ellie was walking home, the landlady stopped her. "Miss Nash, your rent is overdue. If you don't give it to me by Sunday, I'm sorry, but I'll have to evict you."

Ellie sighed. She had six days to come up with rent money, "Yes, ma'am." She walked the rest of the way to her apartment and put Roxy in her playpen. It had been a long day and Ellie wanted nothing more than to relieve her pain. She walked into the kitchen and pulled up her shirt sleeve, revealing many long scars. She took a knife from the drawer and cut into her arm just below her shoulder. She didn't even wince at the pain anymore; she was so used to it.

As the blood began to slide down her arm, the baby cried. Ellie wiped the crimson liquid away with a paper towel and tended to her child. After Roxy was changed, fed, and read to, Ellie laid her down in her bassinet and waited for the infant to fall asleep. It didn't take long. Ellie sat outside the front of her house; she needed to get some fresh air and think about everything.

"Hey," a man's voice called, shaking Ellie out of her thoughts.

Ellie had never talked to this man before. He lived a couple apartments over, but she had never felt the need. "What?"

"I'll pay you $50 if you come clean my apartment," he said.

This stunned her, but she just smiled politely and said, "No thanks."

The man sighed, "Okay, $100."

Ellie thought about it for a minute, she really needed the money, but this was kind of freaking her out. "Um, my daughter's inside asleep, sorry I can't."

"So bring a baby monitor," he said.

"I really don't like cleaning," Ellie replied.

"What about $200?" the man asked.

Ellie really needed the money, but just couldn't do it, "Sorry I can't."

"Okay," he said, "how about I give you $285 to just come over to my apartment. You don't even have to clean, you can just," he paused for a moment, "hang out."

Ellie was taken aback. $285 was a lot of money. If Ellie gave that much to the landlady she would most likely get an extension. She didn't know when she'd be able to give her any amount of money, and couldn't afford to be evicted. After a moment she finally said she would do it.

Ellie grabbed the baby monitor that was lying next to her and followed the man into his house.

The two sat on his couch and he laid the money on the coffee table. He put on some music that Ellie didn't like, but she didn't protest.

After a minute, he put his arm around her and she immediately tensed up. A few moments later, he was kissing her neck. Ellie wasn't stupid, she knew what she was getting herself into before she accepted. She really needed the $285 so she gave in.

When it was over, Ellie took the money and baby monitor and went back to her apartment. The baby was still sleeping peacefully.

Ellie didn't cry as some people might have; she went into the kitchen and picked up the knife lying on the counter. She pulled up the sleeve of the arm that hadn't been cut yet that night and cut a long, red line. The blood dripped onto the counter and formed a pool. The baby didn't cry so Ellie just stood there, watching her blood go down her arm. After awhile it finally clotted.

After cleaning up the mess she had made and washing drying blood off of her arm, Ellie went to sleep, realizing she'd finally found a job.

A/N Hope you liked it. Sorry it took me awhile to update (again) but I've been busy and didn't know how to get this chapter out. It's been planned for awhile but couldn't figure out how to write it. Whether you loved it, hated it, or are somewhere in between, leave a review please!


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

When Ellie awoke the next morning she jumped up and rushed over to the baby's crib. Roxy hadn't cried all night and her mother was quite worried. However, when she saw the infant sleeping soundly, she smiled; her daughter had finally started sleeping through the night.

No sooner had Ellie turned her back than Roxy started crying. The red head let out a sigh and tended to her child.

When she finished and the girl was content and playing with her small pink bunny. Ellie changed into some day clothes and decided it was time to give attention to the next task at hand: finding a baby-sitter. When the single mother had gone out on all of her other job-hunts, she had left Roxy at the daycare. However, all of those interviews were during the day.

There had been a couple of times when Ellie had to make a quick emergency trip to the store and had a twelve year old girl who lived next door take care of her. However, she couldn't bring herself to ask. For one, she would most likely be out late. Another, she couldn't bring herself to ask someone that young, that innocent, to watch her daughter while she was out doing what she would be doing. It just seemed wrong to her.

She didn't really trust many people around here to take care of her daughter. She hadn't really socialized, but could guess that many people who lived around here weren't very respectable people.

For a moment, the memory of her father entered Ellie's mind. How disappointed he'd be in her. An unwed mother, living among filth. They had never been a first class family, but her parents' friends had been all-around good people. None of that mattered now, though. Mr. Nash was dead and she wasn't even sure if her mother knew that she had moved out.

Ellie couldn't call Marco; asking him to baby-sit would lead to too many questions that she didn't want to answer. She could almost see the disappointment in Marco's eyes. No, she could not call Marco.

Suddenly, the red head got an idea. The one person she could count on to not ask too many questions would be Alex. Alex had been through everything and learned to stay out of other people's business.

It was too early to call her friend, so Ellie played with her daughter to pass the time. A happy feeling settled in the young mother's chest as she watched her daughter play with her toys and listened to her nonsensical baby talk. She smiled when she saw her smile.

After a little while of mother-daughter time, Ellie decided it was time to call Alex. She picked up the black phone that used to be in her room and dialed the brunette's phone number.

"Hello?" a gruff voice answered the phone.

"Hi," Ellie responded, "Um, can I please speak with Alex?"

"Who's this?" he asked.

"A friend –Ellie," she replied.

She heard the phone being moved around the voice said, "Yo, Alex, get your ass down here!" Ellie then heard the phone being moved around some more and people talking in the background, she couldn't make out what they were saying.

Finally, Alex's voice appeared on the other end, "Hello?"

"Hey, Alex, it's me, Ellie," she said. "Who was that?"

"Just mom's latest boyfriend," she said bitterly.

"How's the apartment hunt coming along?" Ellie asked.

"Okay," Alex replied. "I think I found something. It's close to the community college and the rent is decent. How's the baby?"

"She's fine," Ellie replied. "That's kind of why I called. How would you feel about baby sitting tonight?"

"Depends," she said. "How late?"

"How late can you stay?" she asked.

"Well, my mom and that man are going out tonight and should be home around three-ish," Alex replied. "I have no plans tonight. I could probably stay until 2:30."

"Okay, then 2:30," Ellie answered.

"Where are you going?" Alex wondered out loud.

"I found a job," Ellie replied vaguely. She knew she couldn't give too much away. "The customers come at night."

"What kind of job?" her friend asked.

The red haired woman on the other end let out a sigh, "Look, Alex could you not ask anymore questions?"

There was a pause before she answered, her voice tinged with suspicion, "Okay, El, I'll be over around six?"

"Great, Alex!" Ellie exclaimed. "See you then." She then hung up the phone and continued to play with her baby.

Around five, Ellie decided it was time to get ready. She found some old clothes that Paige bought for her when they were all in a band before they got the Flaming Craig shirts. Ellie slept with that shirt under her pillow every night. Paige wanted her to wear a light jean micro mini skirt and a glittery black tank top that had been cut to three and a half inches above her belly button. Ellie completely refused, but the blonde had made her take it home anyway. She had a choice between that and the Halloween costume she had worn a year before when she was dared to go as a prostitute.

The red head chose the former, deciding she'd wear the other the next night. She found a pair of fishnet stockings and black high heels. Pleased to find that the piercing on her belly button hadn't closed up, she put her favorite ring in; she'd read somewhere that guys find girls with belly button rings hot. The red head put on heavy eyeliner and mascara along with a bit of eye shadow. She was able to mostly cover the scars on her arm with some foundation she owned.

About ten minutes after she finished getting ready, there was a knock on the door. When she opened it, Alex stared at her, a look of shock on her face. "You look like a $2 whore."

"Gee, thanks," Ellie replied sarcastically, though it was the look she was going for.

"Where are you going tonight, El?" Alex asked.

Ellie chose to ignore her, "Okay, I called the cab, there's food in the kitchen and formula for Roxy—I stopped breast feeding her—her diapers are in the bathroom along with the baby wipes and powder, you have my cell."

"Aright," Alex replied, "but you still haven't told me where you're going tonight."

Just then a horn honked outside, "Oops, that's the cab!" Ellie replied. She gave Roxy a quick kiss and waved bye to Alex before hopping in the back seat of the yellow taxi and instructing him to drop her off a block away from the red light district.

On the drive to the "business," Ellie began to contemplate whether or not she should do what she was planning to do. She weighed out the pros and cons in her head. The cab arrived at the destination sooner than she had anticipated, but she politely thanked the old man who had driven her there and paid him before leaving the car. While she was walking the extra block to get to her actual destination, she decided that taking care of her daughter was the most important thing.

When she saw many scantily clad women walking around, Ellie knew she had reached the place she was supposed to go. However, she didn't exactly know how to work. She had never known a prostitute or even been to the district.

She decided to walk up to a short girl with hair that had obviously been bleached. The girl didn't look much older than her, but seemed to know what she was doing.

"Hi," she said, "I—I'm rather new at this. Could you tell me what I'm supposed to do?"

"New, eh?" the girl asked. "I haven't exactly been doing this a long time, but I know how it works. I'm Rachel."

"Ellie," she said.

"Well, what you basically do is stand on the side of the street—not too terribly close to anyone else selling anything—and wait for a car to stop," Rachel said. "Then, they may ask you for a price or give you a price. Always try to bargain with their prices, but don't try too hard because they might get annoyed with you and leave. If you need the money, then you don't want them to leave. Anyway, you have to decide if you want to charge by the night or by the hour.$75 is pretty good for by the hour and $200 is pretty good for the night. You can aim higher though. Some guys may want to take you some place and some may want to go to a hotel. Any questions?"

"No," Ellie said. With that, Rachel went back to her work and Ellie tried to follow her directions. Before long, a man in a Buik picked Rachel up.

Not long afterwards, a man in a Jaguar stopped in front of Ellie, "How much do you charge?"

Ellie hadn't thought of that, "Uh…"

"How about $100 an hour?" he offered.

The red head would have been quite satisfied with that, but Rachel said to always bargain and this man seemed like he had quite a bit of money, "How about $150?" She asked in her most seductive voice.

"Expensive little chippie, aren't you?" he laughed. "Aright, $140 and not a dollar over. Now get in."

Ellie obeyed. That night, she made $420.

A/N First of all, so sorry for the long update again. Second of all, I know it's not very good, but I wanted to get a chapter out to you all and got sick of writing the chapter halfway through. I'll take a break and start on the next one when I feel refreshed (or at least that's my plan). You know, reviews can help refresh me hint hint . Third of all, I'm not very clear on hooker prices or how it works. Correct me if you know better. You know the drill, whether you loved it, hated it, or are somewhere in between, please review.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

Eleanor Nash was happy. No, she was beyond happy; she was ecstatic. Today was the day she was going to move out of her awful apartment! She had signed a month-by-month lease on it, and this month she was moving out. The red head had been at her new job for about five months and she'd realized she could upgrade to a better place to live.

The apartment she was moving into was on the tenth floor of a building in Stoufville. It was going to take a few extra minutes to get to work, but Ellie didn't really care. It was two bedroom, meaning she and her daughter could each have their own room. There was one bathroom, a small kitchen, and a nice living room. The rent was more, but Ellie was making pretty good money.

The living room was painted a light blue color and already had a beige couch that folded out into a bed. There were blue curtains and a bookshelf in the room, also. Her bedroom was light gray with a bay window and white curtains. The other bedroom was a great deal smaller and you could tell that it belonged to a baby girl. A faded rose color was on the walls of the room and there was a small window with 'My Little Pony' curtains. The kitchen and the bathroom were both yellow with off white tiles that had been scratched. In the kitchen, there was a small, wooden table.

It wasn't exactly a mansion, but Ellie loved it all the same.

Marco and Alex were coming to help her move again, but this time, she was already packed. Plus, this time they didn't have to be so quiet and secretive. This time, she wasn't dreading the move; she was looking forward to it.

Her two friends came over around eleven that day. They helped her move all her boxes and the bed, dresser, and crib (she had been able to get one for Roxy a month and a half ago), all the while, talking and laughing. When they got to Ellie's new place, they helped assemble the beds and even unpacked a bit.

The trio (plus Roxy) hung out for a few hours, ordering pizza when they got hungry. Ellie felt truly happy.

Around eight, Alex went home, leaving Ellie, Marco, and Roxy alone.

"Ellie, I have something to tell you," Marco announced quietly while rocking the baby to sleep; he loved kids.

"Okay," Ellie said slowly, sitting next to Marco.

"Well," he whispered, for Roxy was nearly asleep now, "as you know, Manny and Craig are getting married. Ellie's smile froze, she had stopped thinking about that months ago and hoped it would never be brought up again. "Anyway, Craig wasn't sure where you lived now, but wanted you to come to his wedding." Marco let out a sigh, "El, please don't be mad, I promised I'd give you an invitation." He handed the eight-month-old to her mother. She opened her eyes for a minute and looked up at her curiously before going back to sleep. He then took a white envelope marked 'Ellie' out of his pocket and handed it to her.

"Thanks, Marco," she whispered.

"Ellie, I'm so sorry, I should have never even brought it up," he apologized.

"No, Marco, it's okay," she replied. "I'm over Craig. I found someone else." It was true. Her first "customer" ended up coming back to her every Monday night. Sometimes afterwards, they would just lay there and talk. They talked about everything, from politics to their favorite fictional character. The red head had slowly developed feelings for the man.

"Really?" Marco asked. She nodded. "Ellie, that's great!"

His sudden outburst awoke the sleeping child and she began to cry. "Shh, no, don't cry," she purred. After calming her daughter down, Marco said he had to go home.

Right before she went to sleep that night, Ellie's eyes landed on the invitation. When she woke up in the morning, she had a small new scar.

A/N Well, a lot of you were asking me to give Ellie a break and all, so this is a happy chapter, for the most part. Sorry it's so short, so here's a teaser for the next chapter.

"Please, officer, I have a daughter at home!" Ellie pleaded with the man

I love you all! My review counter thingy finally reached a hundred with the reviews from last chapter:-) Whether you loved it, hated it, or are somewhere in between, I always appreciate a review!


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

Ellie felt eternally distraught over her mutilation from the night before. Whenever she tended to her baby, she felt almost embarrassed in front of her. She attempted to hide her bare wrist from Roxy's sight all day long. It was just unbelievable that the stupid wedding invitation caused her to cut herself! She had been doing so well…

Tonight was Monday night; her "regular's" night. Once a week, a man who called himself "Tim" came to see her. He paid her for two hours worth of sex and then an hour or so of conversation afterwards. At first, they just went to hotels, but he had become comfortable enough with her to take her to his house. He had even given her his cell phone number so that she could call him and ask where to meet. It was strange that they didn't even know each other's first names.

Though their contact with each mainly consisted of solicited sex, their conversations were always interesting. Strangely, Ellie was falling for him and she thought he might just have been falling for her too.

Ellie wasn't sure of where to meet him tonight, so she dialed his cell phone number.

"Hello?" answered a man's voice.

"Hi, Tim," she replied in her most seductive voice. "It's…Ginger."

"Oh! Oh, hey," Tim said. "I was just thinking about where to meet tonight. How about….LaBelle River?"

"LaBelle?" she asked. "Isn't that a little….public?"

"It should be fine, just stay in the shadows by the trees," he suggested. "It's just…that's the easiest place for me to get to tonight."

"Aright," the red head reluctantly gave in. She realized that if she hadn't fallen for this man, she'd never have agreed to meet at LaBelle.

"So, LaBelle River at 8:30 PM," Tim said. "Bye, I….bye." And he hung up.

Ellie was stunned. Was he going to say that he loved her? Probably not, she reasoned, he was just using her for sex, right? Maybe he was beginning to feel about her like she did about him. Was it so impossible? They saw each other for at least three hours every week. He didn't even mind when her rates went from 140 to 180 to keep up with her rent. Did he love her? Was it totally impossible?

While debating this thought, Ellie realized it was already 6:30 and she hadn't even called her babysitter yet. She'd decided to stop using Alex because she asked too many questions and had become highly suspicious that her friend was, indeed, a lady of the night. However, the girl was too embarrassed to admit that she hooked for a living.

Her babysitter, Molly, promised to be there by 7:30. A few months beforehand, Ellie would have been at the corner at 6:00 to get in a couple of hours of hooking before meeting Tim, but she wanted to have all of her energy for him. Monday night had become his night.

The red head wanted to look very special for Tim tonight, so she dressed in a long sleeved shirt that covered nothing more than her breasts, her best black mini skirt, fishnet stockings (which Tim loved) and four-inch stiletto heels. After doing her hair and make-up, Ellie put on one of her jackets. Even though she was pretty sure Molly knew what she did, she didn't want her to be 100 sure.

By 7:45, Ellie was in a cab on her way to LaBelle River. When she got there half an hour later, she tipped the cab driver, then went to hide amongst the trees like Tim had suggested. The young hooker took off her jacket and waited patiently. For the most part, no one saw her, but when someone did, she got very disapproving looks.

After a few minutes, Ellie felt a tap on her shoulder. Thinking it was Tim, she concealed the joy on her face and turned to come face to face with a police officer.

"Excuse me, ma'am, what are you doing here?" he asked in a deep voice.

"I'm, uh, I'm," she was at a loss for words. She'd never been good at lying.

"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to take you in on charges for prostitution," the police officer said.

"But…but, aren't I innocent until proven guilty or something?" she pleaded. "Please, sir, I have a daughter!"

"We are allowed to hold you for up to 24 hours," was his gruff reply as he took out the handcuffs. Considering she couldn't get into any more trouble, Ellie went calmly. As they drove to the DeGrassi county jail for women, she spotted Tim's black Mercedes pulling up to the river.

After they got to the jail, Ellie explained that her name was Eleanor Nash and she was 18. She was told that her bail was set at 800 and was allowed one phone call.

In her cell, she paced back and forth, wondering who she could possibly call. The lonely girl couldn't call her mother for obvious reasons. Her only friends in the world were Marco and Alex, but she remained to prideful to admit why she was in jail. She couldn't ask Molly to come get her. Only one person remained in her mind; Tim.

Ellie got the warden's attention and told her that she was ready for her phone call. She was taken to the jail's phone. As Ellie punched in the digits that she had memorized, she prayed that he would pick up. By the fifth ring, she was ready to give up, but luckily, he answered.

"Hello," she said, trying to sound seductive despite how shaky her voice was. "It's Ginger."

"Ginger!" he exclaimed. "I was worried sick! Where are you?"

"I'm in DeGrassi county jail for women," Ellie replied. "I was wondering if you would bail me out?"

"Oh my Go—I am so sorry," he apologized. "LaBelle was too public. Of course I'll bail you out! Just tell me how much it is and your real name."

"My name is Eleanor Nash," the girl answered. "The bail is 800. Look, if you go to my apartment, my money is—"

"No, no," he interrupted. "I'll pay your bail. It's my fault you're in there anyway. Besides, I was probably going to pay you about 800 tonight anyway."

"Thank you!" Ellie exclaimed.

"I'll see you in 45 minutes," he replied before hanging up.

In a slightly happier mood, Ellie walked back to her cell and waited. An hour later, she was in Tim's Mercedes, leaving the jail. Molly was expecting Ellie home by 1:00 AM, so there wasn't really time to go back to his house for their usual routine. Since Ellie and Roxy had different bedrooms now, Ellie didn't see any harm in Tim coming back to her apartment.

When they arrived, Molly shot Ellie a disapproving look for bringing a man back to the apartment while her daughter was there. However, she was also rather relieved to be leaving an hour and a half early.

Roxy was already asleep, so Ellie didn't need to worry about her. She and Tim merely went to her bedroom and did what they were best at. After making love, Ellie lay in his arms, talking with him like she normally did.

During a lull in the conversation, Tim—whose real name turned out to be Anthony—took her head and turned it towards him. He looked at her seriously and said, "Ellie, we need to talk about something. Somehow, I've developed feelings for you. I never meant to; the reason I kept coming back every week was because I think you are a beautiful woman with an amazing body who's really good in bed. I would stay with you afterwards for awhile and talk because conversations with you are more stimulating than with any other girl I've legitimately or illegitimately dated. I've fallen for you and would like to start dating you exclusively. However, I'd be uncomfortable with you continuing in this…career path. I know it's good money and that 

you have a daughter to support, but I've gotten you a job that's probably up your alley. See, a good friend of mine owns a strip bar, and he's willing to see you and will more than likely hire you."

Ellie was taken aback. He did have feelings for her! After tonight, she was also a bit iffy to continue hooking. However, she was slightly offended that he thought that all she was willing to do for a living was to show off her body. Wanting to focus on the positives for once, though she shook it off. She had a boyfriend! And a slightly better job! "I would love to!"

Entirely happy, Ellie and Anthony fell asleep in each other's arms.

A/N Um…..sorry? Yeah, it's been forever hasn't it? I'm not exactly sure of how the law works for prostitutes in Canada, or the USA for that matter. However, please still review whether you loved it or hated it.


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